Living With a Broken Heart: Chapter 2: An Angel Gets Her Wings (Part 2)
In the Fall of 1996, Ashley entered her fourth grade year at T. C. Wilemon Elementary School in Waxahachie, Texas. Wilemon was a wonderful old school that had begun its existence many years earlier as a high school, then served as a junior high school, and was now one of Waxahachie’s five elementary schools.
There was something magical about Wilemon Elementary. The building was dilapidated and in serious need of repair. The gymnasium was hot in the summer and cold in the winter, and though it was the only facility suitable for school programs and assemblies, the acoustics were horrible. In spite of these negatives, however, the people of Wilemon made it a truly magical place.
The school’s principal, Mrs. O’Daniel, loved the kids, and they knew it. The teachers were outstanding, and everyone seemed to care genuinely, deeply, and personally about making sure their students received the best educational experience possible. There was a noticeable sense of “family” among the staff, and this special bond enveloped the students and their families as well.
Even the facility itself, though old and worn out, contributed to the sense of magic. The front lawn was shaded by majestic old trees that towered high above even the tallest “big person”. A grand, impressive set of cement steps led up to the ornate main entrance to the school, located on the second of three floors.
Never before or since have we been a part of anything quite like the Wilemon experience. Even as I write these words, I am overcome by a sense of nostalgia, and I long to be able to return to those simple days when my kids were part of the Wilemon family.
Some time in January or February of 1997, shortly after the school’s Christmas break, Ashley began waking up in the mornings feeling nauseated. Often she would throw up, and then she would feel better and go on to school. She was having a lot of sinus and allergy problems at the same time, and we just figured the nausea and vomiting were the result of sinus drainage building up in her stomach overnight. We began seeking a remedy with over-the-counter allergy and sinus medications.
On a few occasions, Ashley got sick and vomited while at school. We still weren’t terribly concerned, because there had been a number of viruses and other “bugs” going around at school, and we just figured she had picked up something contagious from a classmate.
In March of that year, I led a church ski trip to Loveland Ski Area in Colorado. Susan and the kids went with me. Ashley had been feeling better for several days prior to our departure, and we were encouraged by that. Upon arriving in Colorado, however, the nausea and vomiting returned. We were at a much higher elevation than that to which we were accustomed, and high elevations can sometimes result in altitude sickness, which can manifest itself in various symptoms including nausea and vomiting. So, once again, there seemed to be a logical explanation for Ashley’s ailments.
We had arrived in Colorado on Monday afternoon, and skied on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. On Thursday, Ashley threw up seven times while skiing. We were beginning to grow more concerned. Susan and I left one of the other adult chaperones in charge of the group at the ski area, and took Ashley to a clinic in a nearby town. The doctor examined Ashley and performed some tests, one of which was a urinalysis. The urinalysis revealed a serious bladder infection. Ashley was put on a strong antibiotic to fight the infection, and Phenergan was prescribed to help with the nausea and vomiting.
We were relieved. Finally, it seemed, we had discovered the cause of the problems that had been plaguing Ashley for a couple of months. Finally, it seemed, we had turned the corner and had a specific plan of attack to get the problems under control. Finally, it seemed, relief was in sight.
That night, after returning to the ski area, Ashley was up and down several times throughout the night feeling nauseated and vomiting. It was an extremely unpleasant night. The next morning, we loaded up everything and everyone and began the 20-hour trek back home to Texas. Ashley slept much of the way. When she was awake, however, she was complaining of double vision. That concerned us, but again, we thought we had already discovered the cause of her ailments; and again, sudden changes in altitude can cause some unusual symptoms to appear temporarily.
We arrived back home in Waxahachie in the wee hours of Saturday morning. After a good night’s sleep in our own beds, Saturday was kind of a lazy day. We ran a few errands and spent most of the day at home. Saturday evening, we rented a movie to enjoy watching together as a family. During the movie, Ashley suddenly began complaining once again about her vision. Susan and I grew more concerned.
I called a friend of ours, Mike, who is an eye doctor. I explained briefly about Ashley’s sudden double vision on the trip home from Colorado, and asked if he could look at her. He invited us to bring Ashley over to his house.
When we arrived at Mike’s house, he brought out a small flashlight and began testing Ashley’s eyes. He also looked into her eyes with some of his instruments. After examining her, Mike told us that he was a little concerned. There were a couple of things that he had observed in Ashley’s eyes that he said are usually not found in combination. He also said that, for Ashley to have suddenly started experiencing double vision, there had to be something that was causing the double vision. We needed to find out what that something was.
Mike recommended that we take Ashley to Dallas, about 40 minutes away, to Children’s Medical Center, to have a CT scan done in order to pinpoint the problem. He called ahead to Children’s and told them we were coming. We quickly made arrangements for someone to watch Justin, and then headed to Dallas. It was about 10:30 PM on Saturday night when we began the trek.
On the trip to Dallas, numerous thoughts were running through my mind. What could possibly be causing Ashley’s double vision? Could it still just be lingering side effects of high altitude sickness? We don’t even have any insurance for Ashley. What if we get there and they turn us away because of our lack of insurance coverage? Are we over-reacting? Is this just really no big deal, and here we are rushing to a children’s hospital in Dallas late at night like it is some life-threatening emergency?
Before I knew it, we were pulling into the Emergency Room entrance. My stomach was churning. I was worried about Ashley, I was worried about the whole insurance thing, and I was a little uneasy taking my only daughter into a hospital that I knew nothing about and just turning her over to them. I parked the car and we took Ashley inside.
After explaining our situation to the triage nurse and filling out some preliminary paperwork, Ashley was put into an examination room and a CT Scan was ordered. It was now about midnight. An hour passed. Then an hour and a half. Doctors and nurses came into the room periodically to ask questions and examine Ashley. Finally, the CT Scan machine became available. Ashley was taken to the scan room in a wheelchair, and Susan and I followed.
After Ashley was put onto the moveable table that would be used to slide her under the massive CT Scan machine, we were escorted into an observation room where we could watch as the scan was performed. The testing began, and we could see images of Ashley’s brain as they appeared on the monitors in front of the CT technician.
At 2:30 AM, a doctor came into the observation room and asked Susan and me to step out into the hallway with him. He escorted us down the hall a short distance to a cubbyhole with some chairs, and asked us to sit down. The words he spoke next changed our lives forever.
“Your daughter has a brain tumor.”
I was stunned. Surely I had not heard him correctly. I don’t even remember anything else the doctor said. After he left, Susan and I sat there for a few minutes trying to comprehend what we had just been told. Susan made the comment that this was all just like a bad dream. It seemed so unreal.
We both broke down and cried. And we promised each other right then and there that, no matter what happened, we would not let anything tear us apart. We were in this together. And we would do everything within our power to make sure Ashley had the best possible chance of surviving. She was only nine years old (almost ten), and she had her whole life ahead of her.
The rest of that morning is a blur. Ashley was admitted to the hospital, and eventually was moved to a regular room. After she was settled in, I drove the 35 miles back home to Waxahachie to begin the task of informing our family and friends of Ashley’s condition.
That was the longest 35 miles I have ever driven. I prayed like I had never prayed before in my life. I cried like I had never cried before in my life. I begged God to spare my precious little girl’s life, to heal her, to make the tumor miraculously disappear as though it had never even been there, or to at least use the doctors and nurses to successfully remove all traces of the tumor and allow Ashley a full and complete recovery. I was scared, like I had never been scared before.
I arrived home about 6:30 AM on Sunday morning. I picked up the phone and called Susan’s family and my family to share with them the grave news. I called a few other people at churches we had been associated with in the past, and at our current church, to ask them to begin praying fervently for Ashley.
Then I sat down at my computer and composed an e-mail with the subject line, “URGENT PRAYER REQUEST”. In it I briefly explained Ashley’s condition, asked for the recipients of the e-mail to begin praying fervently for Ashley, and also requested that the message be forwarded to as many people as possible, as quickly as possible.
That simple little e-mail, sent to a total of 26 people, ended up being forwarded all over the world. As a result, thousands upon thousands of people offered up prayers for Ashley and for our family. We received countless well-wishes in the form of e-mails, cards, and gifts from people we had never met. Our lives were richly blessed and deeply touched by such an outpouring of love from complete strangers.
June 19th, 2007 at 8:38 pm
It is so amazing how people we don’t even know can become such blessings by praying for us. When I was diagnosed with my cancer, it was amazing to me how many people were praying…and I can only imagine how many more there were that I didn’t even know about. The same is true when Carson died…and there were moments that thought I couldn’t utter my own prayer, those spoken around me carried me through.